"45 bottles of beer on the wall! 45 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 44 bottles of beer on the wall!”

The song echoed through the ginormous cleft in the walls of Crack, the sound of a dozen dwarven voices lifted in a merry tune.

There was a pause before 44 bottles, and the sound of chugging, before the next verse was sung.

“44 bottles of beer on the wall, 44 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 43 bottles of beer on the wall!”

We all laughed as the blonde-bearded Johnsson tried to finish drinking his bottle before collapsing to the floor, his eyes rolling back into his head. Well, mostly blonde-bearded, he currently had pink tips on his mustache and braids. His usually ruddy skin was flushed a bright pink to match.

“Still a lightweight, Johnsson!” Richter guffawed, before tipping back into his chair as well. We waited a beat, but he didn’t get back up. A snore rose from the dark-skinned southerner’s lips, and we all turned back to our singing.

“43 bottles of beer on the wall! 43 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 42 bottles of beer on the wall!” Cue more gulping.

“Ugh, I can’t anymore!” Aqua jumped up from her seat and ran to the edge of the wagon. She stuck her head out through a gap in the canvas and the sound of retching reached our ears. The gigantic human sitting scrunched up in a corner, reached over to pat her back.

Aqua peeked back bleary-eyed and rubbed at her blue moutache. “Thanks Kirk.”

“My pleasure!” He flashed her a stunning smile and a wink. The brown haired, white-skinned Kirk Manly was almost depressingly handsome. With a voice worthy of an audiobook narrator, and a body to match, he was the quintessential manly man.

“This is an incredible waste of God given Abilities.” The diminutive pink-haired gnomess sitting beside me complained. Unlike the dwarves circled cross-legged in the wagon, she was drinking from a cup of tea. Instead of armour, Raspberrysyrup was dressed in a frilly lace dress that complemented her porcelain skin. The purple-haired gnomess beside her - her manager Amethyst - nodded in agreement.

I, Peter Roughtuff, dwarf male, age 50, single, was dressed in a stylish leather gambeson with an open neck. A pair of silvery shoulderpads matched my finely crafted bracers. I’d tossed my black gorget aside a while earlier, along with my black chestguard; they were just a bit too uncomfortable with the shaking of the carriage.

I pulled at my curly reddish-brown beard, and raised a set of incredibly bushy eyebrows. “If tha Gods didn’t want me ta make infinite beer, they shouldnae ‘ave given me an Ability that lets me.” I patted the cask beside me and activated my Ability again. “[Bottomless Barrel]!”

“I think it’s great! Means we don’t need to worry about having enough to drink for the trip.” Annie said, as she began refilling castoff bottles from the now literally bottomless barrel.

“You know Brewer Pete, when you told me you choose [Bottomless Barrel] as an Ability, I thought it a strange choice.” A shock-white bearded dwarf murmured from where he was nursing his own bottle - a brown coloured affair from his own brewery. He was dressed in the black armoured robes of a Master Brewer, and for once didn’t smell of onions. “But I must say that I do understand now. This game of yours is amusing to watch!!”

Raspberrysyrup rolled her eyes. As the only other secret Earth native on this cart, and an accomplished musician to boot, she wasn’t the biggest fan of me teaching everyone the quintessential classic, “99 bottles of beer on the wall”.

I grinned back at Malt, guildmaster of the Minnova Brewer’s Guild and stowaway-cum-self-invitee on our little quest to the dwarven capital of Kinshasa. Speaking of Quests, I had quite a few cluttering up my hindbrain now.

Inactive Quest: All’s Fair in Love and War 1/7You’ve discovered your first other Chosen, now sabotage them!Chosen Sabotaged: 0/1

Rewards: [Karmic Reversal + 1]