“It’s gonna be hard to prove that anything is better than a goatboy.” I crossed my arms, “Penelope agrees with me. Don’t ya Penelope!?”

*Meeeeh!!* [Translated from Prima Donna Goat] “I am always correct, and as an extension of me, my manservant is henceforth also always correct!"

I held out my hand, “See?”

Annie rolled her eyes. “I know for a fact that you can’t speak goat.”

“I understand tha gist of it.” I told a little [White Lie].

“Uh, huh. To answer your question, feast your eyes on this!” Annie pulled another resume out of the pile with aplomb and placed it down on the table.

The paper was in a style commonly used for notices on the local news and job boards. The adventuring guild board was the biggest and best example, and I often went down there myself to keep up with local gossip.

It read:

Porter for Hire!

Local adventurer Kirk Manly seeks to try his hand at beverage service!

A lover of all things alcohol and a master of conveyance!

A Titled Porter with experience in multiple dungeons!

Allow a power-house with four milestones to serve at your convenience!

He’ll carry your beers, guard your doors, and capture your heart!

Who is this mysterious and dashing tavern hero?

Kirk Manly - Action Adventurer!

See reverse.